OMG! My life is SOoo inconvienienced!!

( Before we start, yes, I see the irony of bitching about someone who was bitching online, in an online journal, smart-ass. )

     No one hates whining toddlers more than me. I also hate plane rides too. And just to finish off the trifecta, I am never pleased with whiny toddlers on a plane. But would I -like a douche- tweet about how tortured my life is because somebody brought their toddler onto the same flight as me? No, I would accept it as fate, for it is already decided.

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jeph jacques ‏ @jephjacques writes;
"Not only is there a fucking wailing toddler on board it's in the goddamn front of the plane. Assholes."

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    I'm sorry, but you just look like a douche now, Jeph. And your lady friend doesn't look much better either, basically stating that parents are "dragging" their "poor child" onto the flight, then saying the parents should go fuck themselves and that they are bad parents because they brought their child with them. Now she just looks like a bitch.

    Okay, now hold on... I don't need a bunch of Questionable content fanphreaks getting all indie on me.
(You'd think I'd insulted their impossibly tight, "vintage" jeans they just payed $150 for or some unheard of post-pnumatic quasi-polystyrene aquatic/acoustic band that I'm "just too mainstream" to get.)
I am NOT calling Jeph a douche or Cristi a bitch. What I'm saying is that sort of behavior makes them LOOK like one. (Which I am quite certain they are not. I have not met them, but from what I have seen and read so far, they both seem like lovely people.)

(See everyone forgets why I'm here. It's not to piss people off or offend... it's to INFORM.)

What I am saying is; -TIMING-

    Timing is everything my friends. You see it is inevitable, one day -possibly more- that any one of us will get onto a plane and there will be a toddler, a baby or a young child crying. That is life and we will all have that feeling of wanting to suck-start a pistol mid flight, or storm the cock pit in the off chances there might be an Air Marshal on that flight that will put a merciful bullet in the back of your head to end the misery. BUT what we do is grit our teeth, roll our eyes, imbibe alcohol, listen to our headphones, etc. In other words, drown it out and deal with it.

    Because here's the deal folks; no one is going to kick the kid and its parents off the plane just because some bitches about it. Constantly pointing it out and being angry about it for your entire flight is only going to cause you to focus on that child for the entire flight. YOU ARE ONLY HURTING YOURSELF. (and looking like an ass at the same time) You are all on the plane. The doors are closed. You're in the air. It's done. For right now all you can do is deal with it. Now if I'm in that situation, I find something else to focus on. I will do everything short of chewing off my own tongue to ensure that my focus is elsewhere. It's a long flight my friend. Why make it unbearable? -And believe me, I know what I'm talking about. I've been on planes with infants, toddlers, young under-supervised children, foul smelling old french dudes, a couple of mentally handicapped teens fighting over who got to wear the empty pudding container, (swear to god) and one time on a train for 4 hours with the New Zealand pole vaulting team who had INTENSELY bad gas for the entire trip.

    But do you know when I ranted about them? After the trip. That's what it's for. That's where stories come from. You see, when you complain about something as it is happening and there is nothing that complaining will do about it, then you are bitching. When you talk about it afterward to people, then you are telling a story. Nobody likes a bitch. Almost everyone loves a story.

So I guess what I'm saying is something like this; Be careful, because it's awful easy to look like a bitch, a douche or a cunt by complaining.

Here's a simple way to gauge what you will look like, before you complain:
1. Has it already happened?
2. Can you do anything about it?
3. Will complaining about it fix anything?

-If you answered "no" to question 1, be careful! It could go either way.
-If you answered "no" to question 1 and any or both of the other two, then STOP! If you choose to complain now, you will look like an ass-bag!
-If you answered "yes" to question 1, then you're in the clear! Congratulations, you have the beginning of what could be a great story!!


    So, did my bitching about this do anything? Eh, probably not. Sure, I hope that it would inform someone and cause them to look a little inward to themselves, but that's just being hopeful. Plus, what I am complaining about has already happened, so according to my chart, I'm in the clear. Will it fix anything? Yes and no. While I doubt my rant will do anything for anyone else, it was -hopefully- somewhat entertaining, and it helped me to find something to write about for my facepage today. So, other than looking a little like a dick, I think I've accomplished something this evening.